Tuesday, March 19, 2013
*I have many thoughts about parenting that I would like to visit over the course of the next weeks.
One of the most pleasant surprises about motherhood thus far is how natural it feels. Sure I get frustrated at times and need a break, but by and large I feel wholly contented by my role. It is a pleasure to tend to this child and watch her grow. It's a privilege.
Several years before having Eulalie I attended Waldorf teacher training. Though I look forward to the day I make my way back to the classroom, I cherish what my training lends to me as a mother. We live in a time when anxiety over parenting seems almost trendy. We mothers are constantly questioning our decisions worried that we could be doing things (everything) better. We google, we discuss, we worry, we compare, we obsess, and we feel guilty. When it comes to children our society seems to have lost, or at least forgotten about, our inner wisdom; our intuition. In general, I am quite hard on myself. I am always thinking of the ways I can do things better. I am a goal oriented perfectionist. And yet, when it comes to parenting, somehow, I feel calm and relaxed. I have certainly succumbed to some lat night googling ( ie: 6 week old green explosive poop), but overall I feel confident in my abilities. Not perfect mind you, or an expert by any means, but parenting Eulalie feels right. And I'm going with it.
When I think about why I feel so good about parenting this little person, which really is a terrifying prospect when you sit down and think about it, it is because I trust her and I trust myself. So I guide her, offer her oh so much love, and by and large let her be her own person. And, by the same token, I am gentle with myself, I expect mistakes and mishaps, but I also value myself and my knowledge and genuinely believe that we are the best parents for this particular child. And so far so good, not perfect, but good.